Open Letter to Penelope at Nestle Baby

Dear Nestle Baby Employee-

Nine years have passed since you answered that call from me. Nine years have passed and I think about that phone call all the time. I want you to know a few things about me.

I’m an ambulance dispatcher. On the day we spoke, I had recently returned to work after the loss of my baby. Everyday since returning I’d dreaded the ‘bad call’ that would set me off. The call where I assist a mother holding her lifeless infant, giving CPR instructions to her as she awaits help. The call where I am forced to listen to her screams. The very screams that resemble those of my own.  On that day, I took that call. I listened to those screams. 

On my way home, I called my husband. I told him of the call and he assured me that wine was waiting for me. All I wanted after work on that day was wine and a bath.

When I grabbed the mail from the lobby I noticed a postcard with a photo of a baby. It read, ‘baby daze’ I still have that postcard. I keep it tucked into a memory album I have for my daughter. It’s one of few things that remind me of her sweet and short life. Holding that postcard, the unfairness of my loss struck. I wanted to scream and throw things. I wanted her back. I was angry and sad and every other emotion one could feel. After the day I’d had, I was resigned to call Nestle Baby and remove myself from the mailing list to make sure that I wouldn’t ever feel what I felt in that lobby, holding that postcard. 

I went up to the apartment, passed the wine and grabbed the phone. Angry and focused I dialed the first customer service number for Nestle Baby I could find online. When you answered I was going to scream at you. Tell you to take my name off your mailing list and to f**k right off. I was going to take out all my loss, heartache, and stress of the day on you. I was going to rip you apart.

Then you answered like this: ‘Nestle Baby, Penelope speaking, how may I help you?’ 

I dropped to my knees. Penelope was my daughter name. I started sobbing, uncontrollably. I can only imagine what you were thinking. I don’t really remember our conversation. Perhaps you do? I know I told you if my loss. I know we talked. If I close my eyes, I hear your voice. ‘Nestle Baby, Penelope speaking’

So, here I am. Nine years later. I’d love for you to know that I still remember your kindness in that day. I would like you to know that your name is beautiful. I’d like you to know that I’m okay. Nine years later and I’m okay. 

So, to the internet, Facebook, and Instagram world. Please share. Share in hopes of Penelope from Nestle Baby remembering this day, 9 years ago, too.